Because of Luke Page 21

  "Maybe you should go lie down," he whispers in my ear. "She'll understand."

  I shake my head. She won't. She'll be so mad. Livid.

  "Have you told her?"

  Of course not. Is he insane? If I told her, I doubt I'd still be breathing.

  "Because I'm sure that if she knew she'd understand you're just not up for it. You're tired and it's normal." He squeezes me in a light hug and pecks me on the cheek. "Besides, she'll be thrilled once she finds out."

  But she won't. I won't tell her. I nod, then grip the glass of water he's handed me and take several gulps. I won't tell her the whole truth. I'll tell her what she needs to hear. What won't hurt.

  "You're right," I reply. "But I'm fine. I can do this. It's her birthday dinner and I haven't seen her in months. I'm fine." I pat his knee and steal a glance across the table.

  Lucas is staring directly at us and his dark expression is about to give everything away. I widen my eyes for a second, then narrow them in silent warning. He blinks, then focuses on my sister again entwining his fingers with hers on top of the table.

  The way she looks up at him makes me flash hot and my stomach flip flop. I can't tell one emotion from the other as she leans in and their lips meet. She sits back, a smile on her face so genuine and bright my eyes prick with tears. I clear my throat and blink them back.

  I need to get out of here. But first, I have to get this over with as quickly as possible.

  "Daddy," I say, my tone thick and husky. "Could you say grace, please?"

  Sheila

  I wasn't expecting things to be easy. But I was expecting my ever-feigning family to do better than this. I knew they wouldn't like Luke. They wouldn't like any boy I brought home that wasn't handpicked from Beach Street Pentecostal, but they don't need to be so cold about it.

  Luke has been a champ. As uncomfortable as I can tell he is, he's smiled politely, engaged in their forced small talk and held my hand the entire time. He's a keeper and from the moment I really laid eyes on him, I knew it.

  I glance at the clock on the microwave and squeeze his hand. "Whenever you're ready." I'm dying to get him out of here. Back to Lewiston, to figure things out. Based on her behavior today, on the way she treated Luke, I've decided not to stay with Shannon. I've decided she hasn't changed as much as I thought. I could have sworn I saw her glare at Luke earlier. I'm pissed and I've been doing my best not to let it show.

  "Don't you want a piece of cake?" Luke grins, nodding toward the lemon meringue covered in candles.

  My favorite. It's been pie for my birthday since I was six. But not tonight.

  "I'm good," I say, with a wink. "Besides, I prefer cupcakes."

  He chuckles. "Well, if you're ready..." his gaze shifts around the room.

  "Don't worry," I say. "I'll handle it." I rise to my feet, and smooth the front of my silky dress. "I hate to cut this short." Not really, but in a room of actors you might as well join the fun. "But we're really tired. Like Luke said, it was a long drive. So we're going to head back to Lewiston. But...I'll call you."

  I beckon for him to follow me and we walk silently toward the door.

  "I thought you were staying with me," Shannon calls after us. "I wanted to...talk."

  She glances at Luke and his face goes pale. It only makes me angrier. Seriously? Talk? She means tell me how much she disapproves. Did she really have to say that right here in front of him?

  "Maybe another night," I reply tearing my gaze from hers. "We've got plenty of time."

  "It was nice to meet you all," Luke says, shoving his hands in his pocket.

  The only person to respond with any kind of manners is Dave, with a hearty "You too and see you around, buddy."

  Mom smiles with little effort, Dad grunts a response and Shannon just stares at him.

  I roll my eyes and reach for the door. "Thanks for a lovely dinner," I say as I tug on Luke's arm and step out of the frigid atmosphere.

  The moment we get to his truck, I lean up against the side of it and fist his shirt, pulling him toward me.

  "You were amazing in there." I kiss him softly and he returns my affection with enthusiasm. Or is it relief? When I pull back, his eyes are still closed and I draw my palm to the side of his face. "What's wrong?" I brush my thumb over his bottom lip.

  Luke shakes his head. "Nothing."

  I kiss him again and wrap my arms around his waist, and lean my head on the center of his chest. "I'm sorry about my family. I know I warned you, but I thought maybe since they hadn't seen me in a while, they'd cut you a break. Especially Shannon. She's not usually such a bitch. I promise. We're pretty similar. At least we used to be."

  "It's okay." He drops his chin on top of my head. "Families are hard to deal with. You're preaching to the choir, babe."

  "Have you talked to Ross?" I gaze up at him.

  He offers a slight smile before pecking me in the center of my forehead. "No but he will come around. His ego's just bruised. Besides I'd like to know how he'll handle the final meeting with Jerry Cowell in the absence of tour manager extraordinaire. Do you think he'll even keep it?"

  I shrug. "Probably. I called before I left. Told him I had some family stuff I had to deal with. Said the band would be there though."

  Luke grins. "You did that?"

  "Of course. It's not every day you get a Columbia A&R rep sniffing around."

  "I can't believe he sold the bus." He laughs as he reaches in his back pocket for his keys.

  "Well, if things don't go as planned, at least they'll have the money to fly home."

  Luke snickers. "If he doesn't spend it all first."

  "I don't think you're giving your brother enough credit. He may be impulsive but he's no idiot."

  Luke opens the door for me and as I settle in, he hunkers over the open doorway, bracing himself with both hands on the roof of the truck. "He was an idiot to let you go."

  "It's okay," I sigh. "I'm over it."

  "Well, I'm not. It's not cool at all. After everything you've done."

  I beckon with a finger for him to come closer and he complies. "Look at it this way." I lightly nibble on his bottom lip and he lets out a little groan. "We have more time to do other stuff."

  "Mmm, I like the way that sounds. Less work, more play." He braces an arm on either side of me, his body half way in the truck as I loop my arms around his neck, giving into his aggressive kiss.

  "I don't know about less work," I tease.

  "Can I talk to you?"

  We both jump at the voice behind him. Luke's head hits the metal frame of the doorway and he winces, turning around to reveal Shannon.

  Her arms are crossed and the look she's giving him could cause a natural disaster.

  "What do you want?" I narrow my eyes.

  "To speak with your boyfriend."

  I shake my head. "Uh-uh. Get in the car, Luke. It's not worth the headache." I crane my neck to look at my sister again. "I'm staying with him tonight, so whatever Mom and Dad convinced you to come out here and say, forget it. You're not getting me to come back inside until you all can act like civilized human beings."

  Luke winks me, then reaches forward to squeeze my hand. "It's all right, babe. Let me hear her out, and then we'll go."

  I frown. Why he's determined to put up with more abuse is beyond me. "Let's just go, Luke." Then I add in a seductive voice. "Blow off some steam."

  "Five minutes," he says, then reaches up to close the door. "Can't hurt, right?"

  I let out a sharp breath and lean my head back against the rest and close my eyes. "Whatever. Your funeral."

  Luke

  I make my way to the back of the truck and she follows behind me silently. For several moments we just stare at each other, until she finally breaks the silence.

  "So you're the hot guitarist my sister's been raving about. Funny, you never mentioned anything about being in a band." She doesn't look at me when she speaks. She trains her eyes on the ground.

  "I didn't...you s
aid rock stars ruined your life. I was trying to...I should have told you, but I didn't know how."

  "Oh, my god." She squeezes her eyes shut and shakes her head slightly. "She's the tour manager you told me about. How could I not put two and two together?"

  "It was a simple mistake."

  Her responding laugh is dry. "There's nothing simple about it."

  I sigh. "Look, I'm sorry, Shannon. I am. I really am. If I had a clue...I wouldn't have shown up here today. I would have...I don't know, made and excuse up or something. Dinner was beyond awkward and I don't even know what to say to Sheila about this--"

  "Nothing. You say nothing. You can't ever tell her about us."

  I nod. "Okay. Well, I wasn't planning to but...I wasn't sure if you wanted—"

  "I don't." She shakes her head more vigorously this time. "Just keep it to yourself. No one can know."

  "Fine."

  "So Dave, huh? Your ex? Parking lot guy? That's the person you're seeing?"

  She nods.

  Fuck him. The moment he introduced himself again, it all came back. And I've been jealous as fuck ever since.

  Shannon's blue eyes finally hold mine and for the first time I see something I couldn't possibly have noticed until this very moment. Her sister. Those eyes are identical. A deep ocean blue that I've found myself drowning in, on more than one occasion. No wonder I fell for Sheila so fast.

  "She's only eighteen," she says.

  I swear her eyes have misted over, but I pretend not to notice.

  "She was only seventeen when she left," she continues. "And you...?"

  "No," I say quickly. "I didn't. We didn't. I swear to you. It didn't happen until a couple nights after her birthday. I'd never do that."

  "It...didn't happen?" Shannon's eyes widen and this time the shimmer of tears is undeniable. She sucks in a breath and turns her face. "You slept with her."

  I open my mouth to respond but I don't know what to say. I don't know why I should say anything at all. Why do I need to explain myself to this girl. Yes, it's unfortunate that our lives overlapped like this, but that doesn't mean...

  "Wait, do you...have feelings for me? Because you are the one who—"

  "Of course not." She blinks a few times then takes a deep breath. "Just be careful with her. She might seem tough, but she can still break." She shifts her body back toward the apartment building. "Take care, Luke."

  "You too," I call after her.

  I settle back in the driver's seat fully aware of Sheila's attention.

  "So?" she urges, a hand on my knee. "What'd she do? Threaten to break your kneecaps?"

  I chuckle. "Something like that." Something.

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  Shannon

  A couple days after her birthday.

  The same words keep running through my head. The whole time Dad is ranting about Sheila's new boyfriend and Dave is trying to diffuse the situation. As I clear the table, and listen to Mom whine about the loss of her little girl's innocence. As I pick up one dish after another, dry it and stack it. The same words are on a loop.

  A couple of days.

  Not long after I left Seattle, he moved on. With my sister. He had sex with my sister, just weeks after making love to me. After getting me pregnant.

  My effort to stop a wretched sob in its tracks results in a loud hiccup. The plate clatters back down into the rack and I grip the edge of the counter, suddenly feeling dizzy.

  "Honey, are you okay?" Mom grips my arm and I nod shaking her off. "Are you sure? You're pale."

  I put up a hand and nod again in protest, then before another sob overtakes my body, I rush out of the kitchen down the hallway to the refuge of my bathroom.

  I turn on the water as high as it will go as the first awful moan, erupts from my mouth. No matter how I try I can't stop the tears from spilling over. They stream down my cheeks, my stomach clenching so tightly I couldn't throw up if I wanted to. And god do I want to. I want to purge everything. Every awful realization that has hit in the past hour. I want to get it all out so I can start over. I need to start over. This can't be happening.

  There's a thumping at the door, but I ignore it.

  Every ounce of positivity I've held on to throughout this entire fiasco of a dinner, has melted away. How can I keep a pregnancy from my sister? I can't. That much is clear. Between hurling my guts out and crying at the drop of a hat, it'll be obvious soon enough. Not like I planned on lying about it anyway. But what about Lucas? What happens when he finds out and he puts two and two together?

  I clench my teeth. I hate him. How could he do this to me? How could he do this to us? She's my best friend. He should have known better. Another fat tear blinds me and I swipe at it angrily. If there's anyone I should hate, it's me. I did this. When I walked into that hotel ready to walk away from him and ended up opening my legs instead.

  It's my fault and I have to fix it. The only way I can do it is by keeping this secret. I saw the way she was with him. I can't blow up Sheila's happiness just because I screwed up. Besides, I have Dave. No one knows the truth but me and it's going to have to stay that way. I take a deep breath, splash some water on my face, and shut off the tap. I have to throw Lucas off. I have to stay with Dave, at least for a little while. If I don't...he'll know.

  I lower myself onto the edge of the tub and dig my fingers into my scalp. I should have just been honest with myself. Honest with him. I should have given things a chance. If I had, everything would be different. I could just tell him. Tell him everything. They haven't been together that long. It would hurt for a bit, but she'd get over it. She might hate me for years, but she'll get over it and the truth will be out there. And we can all move on. Like one big happy...family.

  I sigh. Who am I kidding?

  Mom and Dad hate Lucas. They hated him before they even knew who he was. But since when do I care what they think? I left home for a reason. I'm not living for them anymore. I'm living for me. Since when do I care about any of that? I met him first. He was mine first.

  I shake my head. Technically she's had her eye on him for years. And she finally snagged the guy she wanted. So what if I want him too? It's too late. I'm not doing that to her. As much as I want to, I can't. As much as I want to throw caution to the wind and live for me, I need to be the big sister I haven't been for the past few months. I need to do the right thing. For Sheila. I'll make this work. For her.

  Sheila

  He's been distant since the other day. Not that I can blame him. They were awful to him and I can't imagine what Shannon said. I shouldn't have let him talk to her. I shouldn't have taken him there. I glance over at him. I can be such an idiot sometimes. Such a stupid show off.

  The pressure of coming home after all this time got to me. I wanted them to see how much I've changed. That I don't regret leaving in the first place. That, even though it's far from the truth, leaving was the best thing I ever did. I thought, at most, I'd ruffle a few feathers. Instead, I shot the damn bird.

  "Are you coming to bed or what?" I ask. Stretching out across the mattress, I give him the best view I can. I'm dressed in nothing but one of his old t-shirts, a faded black Skid Row one that meets me just at the middle of my thigh and is so thin it might as well be white.

  Luke looms in the doorway a beer in one hand and a joint in the other.

  "It's two o'clock in the afternoon," he says. "I should be asking you when you're getting up."

  "Never." I sit up and cross my legs, fully aware I'm leaving nothing to the imagination. "This is the most rest I've had in months. If you can call it that." I crook my index finger.

  Luke raises an eyebrow and steps over the threshold, closing the door behind him. Not that it matters. We're all alone.

  Inspiration hits nearly the moment he kneels down on the bed in front of me. He takes a hit from the joint, then leans forward just millimeters from me and exhales it into my mouth, before handing it to me.

  Through a stifled breath I say, "Why don't we tak
e this party downstairs?"

  Luke is out of his t-shirt and working on his belt, when his gaze matches mine.

  "The kitchen," I say. "Or the living room, maybe that big ol' dining table no one ever uses."

  He grins as he takes the joint back. "You want me to spread you on a table?"

  "Yes please."

  He kisses me on the forehead and disappointment washes over me as he kicks off his jeans and settles into the bed, under the comforter.

  "That sounds like a truly wicked plan, but right now I just want to chill, baby."

  "Seriously?" I pull the t-shirt over my head and climb on top of him. "Are you sure about that?"

  His gaze lingers on my bare chest, just enough seconds for me to determine he's anything but, but he nods anyway. "I'm still sore from last night and I need to come up with a plan."

  "For what?"

  "My life. The summer's over, babe. I need to go figure out my courses for the fall. Make a decision about internships. What good is a Business degree if you don't know what business you want to be in?"

  I sigh. "Shut up."

  "Excuse me?"

  "You do not need a plan, Luke. Because you have one. Roscoe Gold. Have you forgotten you've just been signed to a major label?"

  "They've been signed. I'm not in the band anymore. I told you that. I left."

  "Because of me, I know. Because you wanted to force your brother's hand. But you didn't. It's been days and he hasn't so much as called. So quit screwing around and call him. Go to New York. I'll be fine. Besides, I've got a sibling of my own to work stuff out with."

  "And what are you going to do?"

  I shrug. "Who knows? College? Crashing at my sisters? Planning her wedding to Dudley Do Right." He shifts beneath me and I lean down to kiss him. "Not that I'm counting down the days or anything. I'm just not one to get all caught up in the details. Life will work itself out."

  "Take life by the balls and squeeze," he murmurs.

  "What?" I giggle.

  "Nothing." He slips his hands beneath my hair and cups the back of my neck, pulling me in for another kiss. He rolls onto his side, taking me with him. But when his hands stray to my ass, I wriggle away.