Because of Luke Read online

  After two hours of pounding it on the treadmill, I'm still not worn out. I still need it—need him—like I never have before. And now I'm lying here on my bed, completely naked and wondering where the hell I can score a dildo on short notice.

  When the phone rings, I ignore it and when it rings again, I'm tempted to do the same, but I know better. It's probably the label working out the details for the showcase or Roscoe calling me to run some chick out of his room with the fake jealous girlfriend routine.

  I roll my eyes at that one.

  What has my life become? And didn't that used to be Luke's role once upon a time?

  "Hello?"

  There's a sniffing sound on the other end and I sit up, grabbing my robe.

  "Hello? Who's there?"

  "Sheils?" Another sniff.

  "Shannon?"

  "Hey, sis."

  "Hey." Oh, my god. I feel awful. Guilt is ripping through me as I shrug into the robe. That dream and the way I was looking at him last night. The things I was thinking. "H-how are you?"

  "I'm okay," she says. "How are you?"

  I clear my throat. "Yeah, good. I'm good."

  It's silent for a moment and then she lets out a heavy sigh before continuing in a low whisper. "I know how this is going to sound, and it's not that, I swear. I just...I didn't know who else to call?"

  "What's wrong?" I ask.

  "I...I can't get ahold of Luke."

  My stomach twists in the most unnatural way and I press my lips together, unsure of how to respond. After several seconds, I ask, "You think he's with me? It's eight o'clock in the morning."

  "No...I mean...is he? I mean, have you seen him?"

  "It's eight o'clock in the morning."

  "Well...when's the last time you—"

  "Last night," I cut in. Hostility seeps into my tone and I do my best to push it away. "At the band meeting. We were all there." I clear my throat. "Did you try Ross's room?"

  "I don't know the number."

  "Well, I'll give it to you," I huff.

  How could she think I would do that? My face is hot, my hands trembling. I'm her sister and she thinks I've got her husband in my room first thing in the morning? That can only mean one thing. And it pisses me off.

  But to be honest, I can't tell who I'm angrier at. Her for assuming, or me for knowing that a part of her accusation was correct? At least the fantasy part.

  "Ross is in room five twenty-seven. But there's no way he's awake right now. He always—"

  "Sheila."

  "Yeah?"

  "I wasn't implying anything, I swear. I'm just...I haven't talked to him since Sunday night and he said he'd call yesterday. God, I sound like a jealous idiot, don't I? I'm just hormonal and tired. And...I miss him."

  "Hormonal?"

  "Oh...I—I was going to tell you."

  "Tell me what?"

  "I'm pregnant."

  "Again?" I don't mean to yell like I do, but what the hell is wrong with these people? Haven't they ever heard of birth control? Or I don't know—YOUTH?

  "I just found out. It was a total accident."

  "Like Ray?"

  Shannon sighs. "I thought it was the chicken. And I guess...we weren't being very careful. It'd just been so long since we—"

  "I get it. You were so horny you got knocked up again."

  "And now I'm a hormonal mess. I hate this. It was so easy with Ray. Like, I knew I was doing it alone so none of it mattered. But this time...I don't know."

  "Hey," a voice calls. "Alone?"

  "Who's that?" I perk up. "Is that Dave?"

  "He came to help me track down a rat."

  "Ew, a rat? Are you serious?"

  "Long story."

  There's a light knock on my door and I seize my robe again. "All right, well I should get going. If I see Luke, I'll tell him to call you or I'll kick his ass."

  I hear only a faint smile in her voice. "Thanks, sis."

  "Sure."

  After we hang up, I tighten the robe around my waist and make my way toward the door. Whoever's behind it knocks a little louder this time—with just a bit more urgency.

  "Coming," I yell, giving myself a once over in the mirror before standing on my tiptoes and peeking through the peephole.

  I chuckle to myself when I see the person standing on the other side, looking all disheveled and confused as hell.

  Speak of the goddamn devil.

  I swing the door open, anger—from my sister's accusation and frustration from my own temptations—burning through my stare. "Unless, you want David Baker to take your place, you better call my sister."

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

  14 Hours Later

  Shannon

  I'm lying on the sofa, my feet on Dave's lap, when he bursts in. And I nearly jump out of my skin. My first instinct is to pull my feet back. I bolt off the sofa and straighten my shirt, then rush to meet him at the door.

  Dave is on his feet too. And though he's smiling, he looks ready to pee himself.

  "You're here." I wrap my arms around Lucas, but his hug is stiff in return. "Don't you have a show this weekend?"

  He barely pecks me on the cheek before releasing me and walking past me to survey the room.

  "Where's Ray?"

  "Asleep." Dave and I answer at the same time.

  I'm not sure what I was expecting, but it isn't this. I'm not even sure why he's here at all, but I'm betting it has a lot to do with the man in our living room.

  "Dave was just—"

  "I heard. Gonna have to talk to the landlord about their pet policy." He doesn't look at me when he speaks. He's zeroed in on Dave.

  "Already done," Dave pipes up. "Left a voicemail and a letter at the rental office this morning. If you ask me, those things are unsanitary."

  "How long you been here, Dave?"

  Dave clears his throat. "Uh, eight. Maybe nine."

  "This morning?"

  He bobs his head.

  "Anymore rats to speak of?"

  "No," Dave gestures toward me. "I was just...I'll go now."

  "Probably a good idea." Lucas kicks off his shoes, and plants himself on the sofa, watching intently as Dave gathers his belongings.

  I glare in his direction, but he refuses to make eye contact.

  "He was helping me out, Lucas," I hiss. "Why are you being so rude?"

  "Why were you cuddled up with him on the sofa?"

  "I wasn't cuddled up."

  "We were just watching some TV, man. It's not a big deal."

  Lucas turns slowly to face him. "Did I ask you?"

  Dave shakes his head again. "No, but maybe you should. Instead of just waltzing in here and assuming. You weren't here. She called me. She's married to you. Pregnant with your kid. She's got another one in the back room. I know your place, man. Trust me. We all know."

  My heart speeds up and my entire body is vibrating. What is happening? I can see where this is going, but it doesn't make any sense. Why would he come all the way back here? Just to make a point? Does he really think I'd cheat on him? While pregnant? Even I'm not...

  But I am, that paranoid. I'm totally paranoid. I called my sister at eight o'clock in the morning looking for him. Whatever he's feeling right now, I've been feeling it all damn week. And it feels like hell.

  My head snaps up, but I realize, too late, that I haven't caught on fast enough. Lucas is off the sofa again, approaching Dave.

  "You're going to come into my house and talk to me about my business? What do you think this is?"

  They're toe to toe now, and I realize how similar in height they are. Only Lucas is dark, brooding, lanky while Dave is clean, shiny and buff. Still, if there was a fight, I can't even tell who would win.

  "Shannon and I are friends. We've known each other a hell of a lot longer than she's known you. And I will always be here for her. Always. You got that?"

  Lucas's chest heaves and he darts a gaze in my direction. I'm not sure what my expression holds, but it doesn't do any
thing to diffuse the situation. Before I even realize what's happening, he's got a hold of Dave's collar.

  Dave's expression is surprised at first. Then neutral. Then oddly peaceful. But there's a little anger flashing in his eyes too.

  "Let go, man. Don't be an idiot."

  "Fuck you."

  Dave sighs. "Seriously? You're going to do this right here? In front of her? With the kid in the room?"

  Lucas releases him and I sigh with relief. Taking a step forward, I grab his hand. But he pulls away.

  "You're right," he says, his gaze still boring through Dave. "I'll meet you outside."

  Dave shoves his feet into his sneakers and replaces his Rangers cap on his head.

  "You're actually going to fight him?" My eyes are so wide they're tearing up and I scurry to stand between Dave and the open door.

  He laughs and pulls me into a light hug. "Of course not." Standing back, he drops his gaze, a flush creeping onto his cheeks. "I'm sorry I got into it with him like that. I should've just left."

  "It's okay." I smile. "What? Are you not supposed to defend yourself?"

  "Or you?"

  I shrug. "He'll get over it. He's just stressed. He doesn't really want to be in New York right now, but we need the money." I rub my stomach and Dave nods. "He's a little jealous," I say. "But he'll be fine. Thanks for the free pest control."

  Dave chuckles. "Anytime. I mean that."

  I let out a heavy sigh as I close the door behind him. And then a smile creeps on my face. Luke was jealous. Like full on possessive and it was kind of sexy. He came all the way home to confront Dave. For me. Sheila must have somehow let it slip. The thought pisses me off, causing earlier sentiments to resurface.

  Is she going to be a problem? Stir things up between Luke and me because she can? I didn't exactly tell her not to say anything. But then again, shouldn't that have been obvious? I shake my head. I'll deal with her later. But tonight, as soon as he cools off a little, I'm going to deal with my man. I'm going to let him know that as much of an asshole he was to my friend, I love him anyway. And I'm going to show him just how much.

  I leave the door unlocked and walk to Ray's room to check on him. He's sound asleep, oblivious to all the yelling and tension. I sit in the rocking chair beside his crib, listening to his soft snores until I drift off into a world of my own.

  I have no idea how much time has passed when the wail of a siren jolts me from my sleep and the distinct flash of red and blue lights fills the room.

  Ray stirs, and I gently rock him back to sleep, the entire time trying to distinguish between the angry voices in the courtyard.

  I creep out of the baby's room, easing the door closed quietly.

  "What the hell is...?" The living room is empty. "Lucas?"

  I double back to our room and peek inside. The bed is still perfectly made and my heart begins to race.

  I listen at Ray's door once more, then retreat back down the hall, grab my keys and lock the door behind me.

  There's a small crowd gathering out front and people are peering out their windows.

  "Let go of me, you fucking pig!" Some guy screams.

  As I draw closer, I realize that guy is mine and my stomach swirls, then tightens as I get a full view of the scene before me.

  Lucas is in handcuffs and Dave...

  "Oh, my god!" I rush forward, crouching beside him. "What happened?" My gaze flashes in Lucas's direction. "Did you do this?"

  Dave groans something inaudible.

  "You should probably get him to the ER. Looks like he's got a broken nose," one of the cops says. "Is this your husband?"

  I'm shaking so hard, I feel like I'm going to vomit.

  "No." I clench my teeth and narrow my eyes, as I focus on Lucas again. "He is."

  His eyes are full of regret, but it doesn't bleed him any sympathy from me.

  "Are you okay?" I ask Dave.

  He attempts a smile, but it looks painful. The bottom corner of his right lip is so swollen it looks like he's hiding a walnut. Blood trickles down the side of his face and his nose is so bruised it almost makes me gag.

  "What happened? You said you weren't going to fight him."

  "I didn't," he replies in a muffled voice.

  "I'll drive him," I tell the officer. I nod toward Lucas. "What about him?"

  "We're taking him in. Holding him in the drunk tank overnight. Depending on whether or not your friend presses charges, you'll have to bail him out in the morning."

  I swallow, my throat instantly dry. "Thanks."

  Helping Dave to his feet isn't an easy task, but we finally manage. "I have to get Ray," I say. "Then I'll drive you."

  "I'll be fine." He holds his head in his hand. "I just need some ice."

  As we make our way toward the entrance, all eyes are on me and I feel like the biggest idiot ever. We pass by Lucas and he calls my name. Disbelief brimming in his eyes.

  "What's wrong with you?" I ask. "Look at him. He's a mess, Lucas."

  He snorts. "I can't help it if he doesn't know how to fight."

  "Are you serious?" The tears are coming now and Dave squeezes my shoulders. "What happened to you? Why'd you come here? For this? To embarrass me? To beat on my friends?"

  "To protect you from that creep." For the first time I notice the drunken drawl and I wonder how I didn't see it before.

  Was he really that drunk back at the apartment?

  "Dave didn't fight, because he's not that kind of man." I shake my head. "I wish I could say the same for you."

  Luke

  I hate sobering up. I've never done it in a drunk tank, and I'm going to make a point of being sure I never have to again. A sober mind recalls all the dumb shit you did the night before—on a fucking loop.

  In the last week, I've had a lot of "night befores.”

  I clench and unclench my fists.

  "Shit," I mutter to myself.

  "Regrets we've all got 'em," the dude beside me says.

  I nod an affirmative and lean the back of my head up against the wall.

  Her words are on constant replay in my mind. I was sober enough by then to remember every second of the moment she came out of our apartment to find me in handcuffs. The look on her face—shock, disbelief, disappointment. The way she ran to his side, instead of mine.

  She thinks he's more of a man. And it makes me feel like shit, because after last night, she's probably right.

  "What's a bright-eyed kid like you doing in a place like this?" my partner in crime drawls.

  "What the fuck do you think?" I grumble.

  He starts laughing and I have to bite down on my bottom lip to stop myself from smashing him. The last thing I need is more trouble.

  "Easy there," he says leaning into me. The whiskey on his breath is nauseating and I can only imagine what Shannon must have witnessed. If I'm in here with him, I can't be much better. "Just tryin' to make conversation. Sheesh." He rubs is fingers along the scruffy patch on his splotchy red face. "You kids are all so goddamn angry. What the hell is this world coming to?"

  What indeed? A year ago, I'd have rather died than found myself in a place like this. I saved the drinking for special occasions. But with a first class seat, an all you can drink buffet and a jealous mind, I got carried away. As much as my knuckles hurt, I can only imagine what Dave's face looks like.

  Shit. I sigh. I should have walked away. He's more of a smart ass than he lets on. He plays the nice guy—all charming and perfect looking—but he's an ass. The way he looked at me when he walked out of that apartment.

  I should have stayed in my truck.

  "The only reason I was out there was to cool the fuck off," I say to my new friend.

  He perks up, like he's been waiting for someone to open up to him all his life.

  "She shouldn't have had to call him. I should be there. But I can't be two places at once. I either make us some money or we all die of starvation. What the hell good would that be? Pregnant women have to eat, babies ne
ed formula and diapers. I've got a good thing. I can't let it go because it's hard. You know what would be harder? Living in that apartment with no heat. Trying to study while the kid his screaming at the top of his lungs. Or spending my fucking father's dirty money. That would worse than shit. So I get up on stage and belt out a few hits and make a shit load of money. Is that so wrong?"

  "Hell no, it ain't wrong. Sure wish I could sing. Started a band once. Called ourselves The Flaming Lips, then some assholes the next state over, with better voices, came along and stole our name. Can you believe it? No one ever believes that one. But it's goddamn true. It is. I swear it is."

  This guy's an idiot. But I need to sort out my thoughts. There are too many in my head and I need some kind of sounding board.

  "Ross just needs to let me be me, while I do this. Then everything can work out. I can't deal with the hundreds of girls and the parties and the drinking. I need to just get up on stage, then call it a night. I can do that. I wouldn't be the first sober musician in the world. Would I?"

  Wannabe Coyne scratches his greasy mop of silver hair. He wavers for a moment, as if losing his train of thought. Then snaps back after a few seconds. "I don't know, kid. You might be. But what's the fun in singing without all the fame? Don't you like the girls? Everyone likes the free girls."

  "I have a girl. And a kid. Plus another one on the way. And I'm happy with them."

  "You don't want to be in the band? Hell, I'll take your place."

  I shake my head and chuckle at him a little. "No, it's not that. I like the band. I love the band. I just...I don't like what it's turning me into."

  "Ah." He holds up a finger, then points to my face. "Bright-eyed. Saw it all over you when they hauled you in here. You got the look." He gestures toward my tattoos, then my hair. "But in them eyes I can see the real you. Ma used to say 'it's all in the eyes—everything you need to know about a person is all in his eyes'." He burps loudly and no matter how hard I try not to, I have to cover my nose. "Don't worry kid. Them eyes look smart too, like you got a whole lotta knowledge in that head o' yours. You'll figure it out. But quit griping would ya? I mean, damn. A shitload of money, a wife, a kid, you got it better'n most of us."